My name is Brooks Shands. This is my angel. She is loved by both her mother and I. I am very active in her life and will move mountains for this little girl. I’m an engineer living in Charlotte NC. I strive to instill in my child that anything can be achieved if you put your mind to it. She’s very stubborn and sometimes learns the hard way, but I pick her back up and talk her through the whys so she can make better decisions the next time. Thank you for your consideration. I am honored not only to be mentioned but to be a proud father to this little one.
1) What has been the best part of fatherhood for you?
Watching my daughter grow so much each year has been the best part of fatherhood. From her intelligence to her personality to the way she carries herself has made me very proud.
2) What is the most important lesson that you have learned since becoming a father?
Not to take things so seriously life has been very hard for me so God blessed me with a child with life to breathe back in to me.
3) What is the secret to being a good father to your children?
Listen more than you speak. A child cannot be condemned every time they make a mistake. The point of discipline is to learn guidance. For them to come to conclusions on their own leads to them making better decisions in life.
4) What does Fatherhood mean to you?
Responsibility, protection, honesty, faith, discipline, understanding, compassion, and love
5) What do you feel is the best piece of advice that you have ever given your children?
Everyone in this world won’t like you and that’s ok because you are happy with you and no one can take that away from you. You are a Shands we strive to be the best in all that we do.
6) How does your parenting style differ from the style of your parents?
Exposure I want to fully invest in any ideas, dreams, aspirations, sports, or academic goals that are reaching for. My parents did the best they could, but I want to be involved in all that my daughter does. I want her to know how a man is supposed to treat her so she knows what to expect.
7) If you could go back in time and tell yourself one thing before you became a father what would you say?
Single parenting is hard. The sacrifices are endless but the rewards are well worth it. Make sure you find someone who compliments your efforts. It is not something you get overnight so remain patient and loving throughout the process. It does get better. Instill those values you have or are striving to obtain.
8) What piece of advice do you have for fathers who are not currently present in the lives of their children?
You cannot get this time back. Every decision you make affects this child. Whether it be the daughter who looks to men for approval or the male who disrespects women because he never had a father who taught him how to treat a woman. Although these are extreme cases these are becoming more common in our youth and it starts with us. As an African American male in corporate America I am faced with challenges every day, but my father prepared me for this and I have been able to excel. We are where it starts and ends so choose wisely men and women.
9) What is the one moment since you became a father has changed your life forever?
The first breath she took. When I saw it I knew my life had changed forever. I love her with every ounce of my being. I do everything for her she is my driving motivation not only at work but in life. I’m not only raising her she’s helping me grow also. I would change anything god had a plan and he knew what it would take for me to become a better man and I have.
10) What do you feel your legacy as a father will be?
My love for my child is my legacy. My father didn’t have everything but his love never wavered he is honestly the most selfless many I have ever met. I wish I could be half the man he is. I only want my daughter to love just as I have loved her. She will make mistakes in life and that’s ok as long as she learns from those mistake, but I will always be there to catch her no matter what.